waitress rant..
about two weeks ago, four gentleman sporting their business casual came into the restaurant and found themselves seated in my section. lucky guys. i'm a helluva waitress!! haha anyway.. the night had been pretty crappy thus far so i was just ready to go home, and when i'm ready to go home, i give my tables a lot of tude and sarcasm. well these guys liked it! they told me i had a lot of sass and could be the next kathy griffin. i took it as a compliment because other than the fact that she's the epitome of a ginger and pretty darn fugly, she's really funny. i like funny. so me and my (business casual) boys got along nicely for the remainder of the night. they ordered a bottle of $50 red wine. charles krug, if you like specifics. they ordered appetizers. they ordered pricey entrees. they ordered coffee, cappuccinos, and dessert. i talked with them for quite some time while they were eating their tiramisu and found out that one of the dads was having issues with his 19-year-old daughter. it's her first year at college so she's doing what we all did.. ignoring his calls, texts, and facebook friend requests. after i finished giving facebook dad advice, another dad started asking me about myself. i mentioned that i was born and raised in texas, he asked what part, i told him, he noted that his wife is a southwest texas state alum (and a strutter!), and i said small world. isn't that so weird?! it's not like texas state is a huge school or anything. what are the odds of a marylander going to school at texas state? anyway, i'm getting off track. after they were all finished, i dropped off their check, thanked them for coming, and told them they just had to request me they next time they came in because they had been such joys.. and of course, i was sassy the whole way through my little shpill. my fine ass and sass worked it out for an hour and a half and got a 40% tip! that's dayum good y'all.
well, last night, facebook dad and one of the other dads returned. they requested to be seated in my section of course. i talked to them about the election. not sure why. i hate politics. i got an update on facebook dad's rebellious daughter. he took my advice, and it worked! it was pretty much the same thing all over again. just me and my (business casual) boys. again, they ordered wine, apps, steak and seafood entrees, dessert, coffee, the whole shebang. the check for the two of them came to $105.84. i ran their credit card, gave it back to them, and thanked them once again for everything. my tip? 14 effing dollars. what happened to 40%?! hell, what happened to the customary 18%?! ugh.. d-bags. y'all can kiss my sass.
thanks for lending your ears (or eyes),
shannon